One of the main concerns that I hear often, is how difficult it is being comfortable or confident wearing natural hair. I cut off all of my hair at the end of 2009, and did not fully wear my hair out for four months. Frankly, I was scared and I did not like the reactions that I received with my natural hair. I was used to my hair length, and I did not know HOW to style my hair.
Quick backstory: I am from Mississippi, and grew up in a very sheltered, conservative, and deeply Christian based home. I also grew up having my relaxers every 6 weeks like clockwork lol. When I cut my hair, it was assumed (by some relatives) that I was a lesbian, and going on a downward spiraling path to destruction. -__________________________-
I was also made fun of for having nappy hair, being told that I should use my hair to scrub tubs and mop floors. It also didn't help that when I went out in public, non-blacks did not hide the fact to gawk at my head. People (black, white, and in-between) were being rude, and OBNOXIOUSLY ignorant, only intensifying the insecurities that I hadn't yet sort through.
I installed twists, and even the stylist (who was African) had something to say. I was OVER IT DO YOU HEAR ME??!! After four months of twists, I literally said, "F*CK THEM. I'm wearing my hair out and I DARE A M*THAF*CKA have something to say". I decided from that point on, I was going to wear my hair out REGARDLESS of the responses it would incite. I figured that, "Hey, it's MY hair. If people are THAT bothered with my hair, they are more than free to pay for a relaxer (fun fact: they never did)." At first wearing my hair out was uncomfortable, but it became easier. I learned that people tend to play on your insecurities if you let them. People will also back off when they realize that their opinion doesn't stand up next to your convictions.
It is a LOT easier now to become natural compared to when I first started. This is due to the social media communities encouraging natural hair.
So to condense this post, I will give you some tips for how I learned to wear my natural hair in confidence.
- Remember your reason why you decided to become natural
- Keep in mind that your natural hair is in fact beautiful. No matter how short, nappy, or kinky the texture.
- People's negative opinions are just that: OPINIONS. Some people will solicit opinions or comments because THEY are scared, choose to be negative, or are jealous that you're doing something that they may want to do. Their comments/opinions can also stem from a place of insecurity.
- While you strive not to take negative opinions seriously, please do not hesitate to let a person know that you are not the one for disrespect. Yesterday. Today. Many days. Always.
- Find people who are on the journey along with you! There is comfort and support in numbers.
- Find inspiration! I was always on YouTube trying out new hair styles and reading articles.
- Natural hair is a process. Being uncomfortable with the length, and the learning curve of figuring out hair styles. It is all a process: the awkward stage of natural hair is only temporary.
- Confidence takes time. For me, it was deliberately placing myself in places where I KNEW that I would be gawked at. For you, it may be different. And that's okay. <3
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| This picture is so cute! <3 |
If you have any tips, please comment below! If you read all of this, you are appreciated. lol
Talk to you soon.
Brie.
